Eulogy Given At The Funeral

Grandpa and I had a lot in common. I share a birthday with Grandpa (my Mom’s Dad) and Grandma Lois (my Dad’s Mom). More importantly, we shared a love for ice cream! Every night at 9 pm was ice cream time at his house. He liked almost all ice cream as long as it didn’t have nuts, but I think his favorite was probably mint chocolate chip.

Unfortunately, I did not share his public speaking skills so please bear with me as I try to honor my grandfather as best I can.

On Saturday, December 10th, 2022 my Grandpa, Raymond Edward Kosley, passed away in his sleep at the Advanced Health Care rehab center. He was 94 at the time. My Grandma, Chris, was there by his side, just as she has been for almost seven decades. This coming January 31st we would have celebrated their 69th wedding anniversary. Anyone could tell that despite all of the years, they still loved each other very much.

The week before Thanksgiving, Grandpa went in to have an aortic aneurysm repaired. The surgery went well; however, a few days after the surgery, Grandma and almost everyone else got COVID so they had to spend time apart so that Grandpa didn’t get COVID. The time apart was hard on everyone. When they were finally able to see each other again they were like two teenage lovers who had been separated by war. Kissing, tears of joy, telling each other how much they loved and needed each other. As the younger and cooler grandkids, Charlotte and Savannah, might say - “Life Goals”.

Grandpa had 13 older and 6 younger brothers and sisters. His parents, Andrew and Anna, had 20 children together. Even though decades separated all of the siblings, they were very close and the family depended on each other. Grandpa is survived by his younger brother Jim. Jim is as mischievous as he is stubborn. He always would greet me with “Are you staying out of trouble?” “No!” “Well good, you can’t have fun if you don’t get into a little bit of trouble!”

Grandpa loved to tell stories about his childhood and growing up with his brothers and sisters. He told of working on someone’s farm all day for a dollar and then Uncle Leo would get fifty cents of it and Grandpa and Uncle Jim would each just get a quarter because after all, Uncle Leo found them the job!

Grandpa graduated from Ramah High School, taught a year at Sentinel Ridge School in Calhan, and then joined the Army. He earned the rank of Sergeant First Class and served in the Korean War.

When Grandpa got back from the service in October he met my Grandma and they started dating. They quickly fell in love and Grandpa proposed to Grandma in the car in front of her parent’s house on Christmas Eve 1953, just 3 months after they started dating. She went in wearing her new engagement ring to Christmas Eve dinner that night. They were married a month later on January 31st, 1954.

Grandpa’s always lovingly called my Grandma “Stara” (pronounced: “Stada”) as a “cute” nickname. “Stara could you get me this?” or “Stara don’t forget your purse!”. “Stara” means “old lady” in Slovak 😜.

Grandpa’s grandparents were from Slovakia and he always tried to teach us Slovak while growing up. Though what little I remember, he might say “I buy you books, I send you to school, I teach you everything I know, and you still don’t know anything”! (jokingly of course)

Grandpa and Grandma’s kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids were the highlights of their lives.

Soon after they were married, they had their firstborn, my Uncle Andy, on October 17, 1954. Uncle Andy got my Grandpa’s people skills and business knowledge. He was always the life of the party and he had a successful media business. Sadly Uncle Andy passed away Easter Sunday 4 years ago and is greatly missed. He is survived by my Aunt Susan, their son Chad and Betsy, and Chad’s daughters Charlotte and Eythen, and Savannah.

On December 13th, 1956, they had my mom, Cindy Henry. Grandpa always called her Zuska until she was married. My mom got Grandpa’s love for games, playing, and laughter. Mom is always the first to start a game of cards or make plans for some fun event and has an infectious laugh.

On July 24, 1958, Grandpa and Grandma had my Aunt Becky. Aunt Becky got Grandpa’s work ethic. She was always the first to volunteer to help someone and has always been the one working behind the scenes making sure that everything got done. She was always the one who could read Grandpa’s mind. She anticipated what he needed and wanted before he said it. She has always been smart. Learning came easily to her and she enjoyed helping Grandpa work on cars, repairing things around the house, and doing anything and everything else that needed to be done.

Grandpa loved music.

I remember him singing “Marianne”, “How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?” or “I’m A Lonely Little Petunia (In An Onion Patch)”

He’d always be listening to Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, or other artists from that era.

He loved to hear my brother and sister, Daniel and Sarah, singing. In 2007, they recorded a CD of hymns that they made special for my Grandpa and Grandma for Christmas that year.

Song	Audio Controls
Just a Closer Walk With Thee
I’ll Fly Away
Blessed Assurance
In the Garden
Whispering Hope
Old Rugged Cross
Amazing Grace
Softly and Tenderly
How Great Thou Art

He always used to joke with Sarah about playing the flute which he called a “píšťanka” (pronounced: peesh-chan-ka). “Píšťanka” roughly translates to “whistle”.

He was always proud of me when I would play Taps for Memorial Day. I regret not keeping up with the Trumpet so that I could play for him today.

Like Sinatra, he did it his way. He’d always say “Now there’s a right way, a wrong way, and then there’s my way; right or wrong, that’s the way we’re going to do it!”

Grandpa loved baseball.

When we were young, we spent countless hours playing catch or having him pitch to us in his backyard. I don’t know how many times we replaced windows in his cottage because of a foul ball here or a bad throw there, but it was more than a couple. I blame Daniel for not catching it!

As we got older, I remember he never missed a game when Daniel, Sarah, or I played baseball or softball. He and grandma traveled all over Colorado and even Kansas to support us, braving mosquitoes, biting horse flies, 100° doubleheaders, or freezing night games; they were always there.

He always had a story to tell about playing baseball in Ramah with his family. He’d laugh about how Uncle Leo, as a catcher, would always harass the batters. “The heater, here it comes!”, “Is that your sister out there in left field?”, “Do you think she’d go out with me?”, “Hey, I’m just trying to have a little friendly conversation!”.

As kids, with little common sense, Grandpa always used to tell us to “Work Smarter, not Harder!” or “If you’re going to do something, you may as well do it right!”.

He had an incredible work ethic and was always the first to volunteer to help with whatever needed to be done. He enjoyed working with my dad, Leroy, and doing all of the hard work on the farm.

I remember him spending numerous weekends helping us tear down old buildings, fix equipment, mend fences, build corrals, and brand cattle. That’s where I learned words like “ščamba” (splinter; pronounced: shcham-bah), “patriť!” (look!; pronounced: patri!), “sluchaj!” (listen! or pay attention!; pronounced: SLOO-khye), and some other words in Slovak that I probably shouldn’t say in church!

In middle school, I remember him riding with me, hanging on for dear life, on the swather or bailer yelling “Spomali!” (slow down!; pronounced spo-mah-lee) as we bounced through the field as fast as I could drive.

When I was in high school, I remember him helping us build the garage on the Yoder place. We only bought one box of 16-penny nails and the metal siding for the entire project. Everything else was recycled from old buildings that we had torn down over the years so as you can imagine, things sometimes took a little “engineering” to make them work. He would always brag to anyone who would listen about “how his grandsons” measured and cut every board and about how well the garage turned out. We did do our best, but if you go check out the garage today, I recommend that you have a couple of pints of “Pivo” (beer; pronounced piwa) or a shot or two of “pálenka” (any distilled spirit or “hard water.” – while it was often fruit brandy in Slovakia (like Slivovitz), we typically had shots of whiskey; pronounced pah-len-ke) so that things might look a little straighter and more even than they are. Be sure to cheers with “Na zdravie”! After taking the shot, you would tell each other Daj Bože i tebe (pronounced Di Boja E Teba) or Daj Bože i vam (pronounced Di Boja E Wham) which is a Slovak (Šariš) phrase for “God bless you” or “God be with you.”. My grandpa would say the phrase “Daj Bože i tebe” which is informal and used for a cousin, a younger brother, a close friend, or a grandson. I would say the phrase “Daj Bože i vam” which is formal and used for an elder (Grandpa, Uncle), a group of people, or someone you wish to show high respect to.

Grandpa wasn’t just an all-work-and-no-play kind of guy.

When we were young, that meant hop-a-doodle-doo rides on his foot.

As we got older, he taught us that you don’t need money to have a good time, you can make your own fun. We spent many hours “pitching pennies” at his warehouse where we would try to throw a penny into a crack in the concrete floor. It was kind of like horseshoes in that you had to get it relatively close for it to count as a point, if it was on the crack, but not in, then it was 2 points, and if it was in the crack, it counted as three points.

As we all got a bit older, we played a lot of card games like high five, 3-13, and pitch. When someone would say “pay me!” and he had run out of money he would always say “nemaju peniaze!” (I don’t have any money!; pronounced neh-my-oo PEN-yah-zeh). He never was shy about raising someone. He’d always say “you’ve got to bid your hand!” or “you’ve got to bid to win!”. He always accused the scorekeeper of cheating and would jokingly say “cheaters never prosper”. It didn’t matter who was the scorekeeper.

Grandpa was a proud member of the Ramah Masonic Lodge, the Colorado Springs Masonic temple, and the Ramah American Legion. It meant the world to him that Jeremy and Daniel both were interested in becoming Masons. I was lucky enough to get to go on the Honor Flight flight to Washington DC with him back in 2013 to see all the Memorials there. He was proud to have served his country. He was a proud member of the American Legion for 75 years.

Faith, family, and tradition were some of Grandpa’s highest priorities in his life that made him the man he was.

Christmas is a special time for all of us. We still do many of the Slovak customs he and his family have been doing for over 113 years. His parents began the traditions with their marriage in 1909 and we have followed the traditions ever since then.

Every year on Christmas Eve, we would get up early to “Vinchovats (sp?)” with Grandpa. We’d get up at 5 or 6 am and drive to Grandpa and Grandma’s house. We’d ring the doorbell and when they both got to the door we’d say a Christmas blessing in Slovak.

When we were young, we would say a shorter prayer and Grandpa would give us a silver dollar for “Vinching (sp?)”.

When we were old enough, we would say a longer blessing and he would give us a shot of whiskey after we finished the prayer.

We’d have a quick breakfast with Grandpa and Grandma. As soon as we finished breakfast, Grandpa would go house to house with us saying this Christmas blessing. At each house, we’d say the blessing, take a shot, and have a kolache, cookie, or a piece of candy. We’d talk for 10 or 20 minutes and then move on to the next house.

After we finished saying the blessing at all of the houses, we’d usually go Christmas shopping with Grandpa for Grandma. He loved getting her Wind Song, her favorite perfume, or a good box of caramels, her favorite candy.

In the afternoon, we would help cook and get everything ready for Christmas Eve dinner with Grandpa’s family.

Around 4 or 4:30 we would start to make our way over to the Polka Club for a happy hour where we would drop off Christmas cards at the “Post Office” and then we would talk with all of the Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins, and try to remember who everyone was; which wasn’t always easy when your Grandpa was 1 of 20 kids!

Somewhere around 6 pm, someone would announce that the food was done and that everyone should make their way to their seats. All 70, 80, or sometimes 150+ of us would hold hands, say the Lord’s prayer, and take communion before dinner.

Traditional Slovak foods like Bobalki/Bobalky, Koláče (pronounced Kolache ; a Slovak cookie), almond bread, halupki (stuffed cabbage rolls), and more were served.

When we all finished eating, we would all sing Silent Night by candlelight because that was Great Grandma Kosley’s favorite Christmas song.

Soon after that, parents and kids would make their way to the front of the hall and sing Christmas Carols while others took down tables and cleaned dishes.

When all of the dishes were done, someone would queue the carolers to sing Here Comes Santa Claus and low and behold Santa Claus would bang on the door. The kids would let him in and he’d have a big bag full of stockings for all of the kids full of fruits and nuts and a few little toys.

The adults would exchange gifts while the kids ran around in their socks, sliding on the hardwood floors or playing on the carpeted steps.

Around 8:30 or 9 we would make our way back to Grandpa and Grandma’s house for some ice cream and Grandpa’s fudge before we went to the midnight Christmas Eve service at Prince of Peace.

Grandpa believed that you should treat all people the same, with kindness and respect. It didn’t matter if you were the president or one of the žobráks (Beggars / Bums / Paupers; pronounced: zho-BRAHK) that would eat at his parent’s house that got off the train and needed a warm meal.

He believed God would always provide you with what you needed when you needed it.

In his business, he loved helping young kids get their first start. He was understanding of someone that needed more time to pay or sometimes a debt forgiven. Sometimes he was taken advantage of and others saw him as “unsuccessful”. Those of us who knew him and loved him knew that a bank account or fortune and being first wasn’t what was important to him. Treating others honestly and fairly was more important.

Grandpa was a great man who taught us about being respectful and kind to others, working hard, being generous, and helping out where we could.

We all love him a lot and he will be greatly missed, but I’ll be forever thankful for the years that I got to know and learn from him.

Rest in peace Grandpa, your work on earth is done.

Memorial